“THINGS is a fucking brilliant film. I wish I’d made it!” Martin Scorsese.
“Seriously, THINGS is better than any movie I’ve ever made. I’m so jealous.”  Ridley Scott.
“The people who made THINGS are clever cunts! They’re probably the cleverest people that ever lived!”  TV’s Dr Alex Cox.
Weighty plaudits indeed for this, probably – no definitely – the greatest film ever made. Film makers and intellectuals worldwide agree that THINGS is way way more than just a meditation on the consequences of finding a copy of “The Horror Of A Thousand Ugly Brutal Cuts” in your fridge.
This gripping and kinetic horror film tells of Doug Drake’s life-or-death struggle against his wife Susan’s newly born horde of razor toothed, carnivorous ant babies in a secluded Canadian shack whilst enduring the perpetual psychic onslaughts of both porn has-been Amber Lynne’s clinically inpet news reports and an unending spasmo audio bombardment from Canadian sonic torturemongers, Stryk-9, aided and abetted by his probably mentally ill scifi novel regurgutating mullet brandishing brother, Don.
Prepare your mind for a new form of artistic expression. Prepare to experience… THINGS.
Showing at The Beanbag Cinema – Wednesday November 9th – 8pm